September 11, 2009

Homework ... AND AIDS, TOO.

Apparently with an accumulation of years OCD tendencies take on an exponential growth pattern. Frankly, I think I'm insane. It is only the second week of school and I'm allowing myself to be consumed by my work. But you know what's even weirder? I like it. Scratch that. I LOVE IT. I think this is why I was so overly happy when I was getting ready for Miss America. I was constructively using my energies, to better myself, to help out other people, and barely sleeping. I love the barely sleeping part, too. I feel like I can get so much more done in 19 hours than 12 (I mean, obviously. If I couldn't I would be impaired). I wonder if this will ever subside?

It's odd that I'm like this. My parents weren't the kind that pushed me into doing things I didn't enjoy. Nor did they demand straight A's. I can actually recall them consistently telling me to give it my best shot (this may or may not have been when I came home in tears in fourth grade because I had gotten the first non-100% since 1st grade on my weekly spelling test ... because my teacher thought I capitalized a "c" thus transforming some random word into a proper noun. My mom was so furious as I clearly understood what a proper noun was at that point ... and WENT TO THE TEACHER. True story.) Comparing yourself to others is a totally ill measurement of success though I'm sure you've figured that out aready. And it's true. I was never the smartest. Never the most athletic. Never the most talented. But you can bet I was working as hard as I could to improve.

So, what I'm trying to say is, I put a lot of pressure on myself. I want to make my parents proud. And I want to get better grades than my brother. Kidding, kidding. He's moving to Boston with Laura, and as soon as they begin having children my ranking in the child chain is going to PLUMMET.

And refocusing ... Last year I was a Star Walker, aka I raised $1,000+ for AIDS Walk NY. Though this year my incredibly embarrassing $25 donation amount hasn't changed, no matter the public pleas and emails I've sent. So you can imagine my horror when my mom told me my big sister, Tracy (she's a couple decades older, has two kids, and is WAY hotter than me), tried to donate money to me and Team Supersnack and she COULDN'T. --->

Left, my adorable niece Avery. Center, probably one of the coolest high-schoolers that exists ... my other niece McKenzie. Right, my sister Tracy. End of story.

If you've had the same problem in relation to donations, it was a result of my careless stupidity. You know how I talked about the spelling test? Well they never tested me on my incredibly complicated and uncommon last name ... thus I spelled it wrong on the official website. "SMIH". But the good news is ... IT'S FIXED! My team, Team Supersnack, is already one of the Top FIVE teams of AIDS Walk DC. But naturally we want to be number one. Help a sister, a brother, a mother out.